Opportunities Missed

So this is more of a soulful post. I'm am writing it purely because I need to put into words what I am feeling.

One of the gifts God gave me, is a knowledge of others. I humbly take it and wouldn't trade it for the world. With this knowledge I am prompted almost daily, and at least weekly, to do something for someone. It's often to call them or write them a card or make them cookies, or often times make them dinner. It is usually very small and simple things.

I've always been so appreciative of having this knowledge because I feel like I have the opportunity to help somebody when they need it most. When they haven't told a soul that they are struggling, or didn't even know themselves that they really did need a little pick me up. I know how I feel when somebody picks up on those feelings of mine and helps me through another day.
Although I humbly and graciously have accepted this gift into my life (I don't remember a time that I haven't had these feelings- even when I was a little kid), it is sometimes very overwhelming. Trevor often tells me to just 'chill out' and to 'stop thinking'. I try to explain to him the long list of 'to do's' that is constantly floating around in my head. The daily tasks and to do's it takes to be a mother and wife, take up so much time and energy that the to do's to help others often get shoved further and further down my list.
Which brings me to today. I won't go into details of the day, but let's just say that my eyes are burning from crying so much. When Trevor asked me what it was that was wrong, I couldn't quiet put it into words. Yes I only got a few hours of sleep last night. Yes my blood sugar is low. But that just isn't quiet it. It's more of a feeling deep within my soul that I can't contain any more. A feeling of opportunities missed. I've been meaning to write a simple card to a wonderful woman for almost a year now. To let her know of appreciation of accepting our family into the community. I felt it stronger and stronger - and then I found out she recently had a miscarriage. And another woman, one of whom I have a deep connection with, one that I feel I must have known her before this life. I've wanted to thank her for all that she does, that she has taken many opportunities to brighten my day. The feeling was so strong to take the time to write her, I didn't take it, and the next day I saw her crying.
And today. A sweet, hardworking, sincere woman. Doing all that she can to make everybody happy. Long story short, by noon she's crying uncontrollably. I feel the urge so strongly to help her that I can't contain the tears myself. My sweet husband tells me he'll stop working so that I can go to her house. I try to find something cute to put brownies in, failing to do so, I quickly wrap them up, no plate, and use a twisty tie to secure the saran wrap. I get to her house and there's no answer. Did I miss the opportunity? Or did I still help her with my small act of deep care and love?
And today. A family very very dear to our hearts sends their father in to get triple bi-pass surgery. This father has meant a lot to both Trevor and I in many different times in our lives. I have a deep desire to help him, his wife, his children, his grandchildren. Anybody, in any way. We text our love and say many prayers for them all. Was the opportunity missed?
Life is full of so many opportunities to help others. My gracious mother reminded me that sometimes the best thing we can do for another is to send them angels, white light, prayers. And I think about the many times when I needed somebody to take an opportunity to help me. One recent opportunity was when my mom was in the hospital. And when I a friend would call and tell me we've been in their prayers, I knew they took that opportunity to help me. And that was all I needed. A phone call, a dinner, and many times a simple prayer. Thanks to all of you for taking those opportunities for me.
And from me to all of you. My check list of promptings to do something for someone seems to get longer each day. Sometimes because I don't have, or take, the time to take the opportunities as they come to me. Sometimes because there's an overwhelming amount of opportunities that surround me. I pray and hope sincerely that I will not miss the opportunities that truly truly matter. That I will be able to save some tears, save a day, save a life. The burden of this has consumed me this day, but the gifts that come from being able to help somebody else hugely outweighs the burden.
Please know that many of you are on my to do list. If you are having a hard time in any way, or even just a bad day, I am probably thinking of you. For now I am sending you angels, white light, prayers.

Love you all.