So I don't do much blogging about me... but I am hoping that all of the things that I am working on can be an inspiration to somebody else. Because, let's face it, I wouldn't be where I am without others inspiring me.
So I am in a 2 1/2 weeks in a 12 week weight loss competition. And I have also set the goal to run a half marathon this year. It has been going really good. I have lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks, and feel so much better about myself. I go running almost every day and then do a work out video. I'm not counting calories, but make a large effort to make good choices in food.
Trevor's been sick so he hasn't been running. His first day was yesterday. He went before me. When he came back he told me how far and fast he went. He did great! The whole time I was running I subconsciously felt like I was already defeated. I knew that I wasn't going to run as fast as he did. So for the first time this whole time, I walked part of my run. I could hear my subconscious playing games with my head. I thought about it all day long.
Then last night it clicked. Our whole marriage I have been the 'weaker' one. I have been sick, or pregnant, or trying to get pregnant, or nursing, or feeling fat. Trev's been athletic and capable (at least this is how it was all perceived in my mind). I don't if any of you have watched The Biggest Loser - but the key to them losing weight, is some sort of emotional breakthrough. I didn't think that I really needed that, but that I just needed to lose baby weight. Boy was I wrong. As Trev and I were trying to get to the root of my feeling defeated, it all became so clear.
My role the last five years that I have played has not been the role that I would like to play (or think that I am) So (I know this sounds funny), but I looked at Trev (while crying) and asked if it was ok if I allowed myself to be a strong, successful, skinny, sexy wife. (He kind of looked at me like - "Um, yeah!")
So from today forth, I am going to change my role from being a frumpy, run down mom - into a happy, cute, fun mom. I know that it will take work, but I know that if I keep pushing for the woman I want to be - I can reach her. I can be (and will be) strong.
If any of you are on a journey similar to mine, I hope that you can all know that you can do it. It's finding that inner strength and allowing yourself to take care of YOU!
8 comments:
Seantae, you are a beautiful, smart and strong woman. Don't ever think you are anything less.
You can't compare yourself to anyone else, even Trevor. He is amazing, but he's not a woman, and doesn't get to experience the things us women "get" to - pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, etc. etc. So if anything, you are even stronger than he is, or any male for that matter.
Plus, you are a mother. There is nothing more challenging and yet beautifully rewarding in this life.
I love you and have ALWAYS looked up to you.
Great job for losing that much weight already!!
(I would like to run at least a 5k, and hopefully a 10k and/or half marathon before we have another baby, but we'll see. I'm just taking it one day and one run at a time.)
We are doing the same thing! My siblings and their spouses, my dad and his wife and Burke and I are doing a competition and I've lost 6 pounds in two weeks too!!! Spooky. So we can cheer each other on. GOOOOOoooooooooo Seantae!!!!!!!!!!! That's awesome you had a break through. It's always nice to have those a-ha moments. Love you sweet friend!!!!!!!
Yes, it is! We did post almost the same things! Even that our babies were born one day apart! Wow! Seantae, it's amazing the pressure we put on ourselves. We can be who we want to be! So happy for you in finding your breakthrough!
Seantae- love you and so proud of you! You are already a very cute, fun, happy, energetic mom in my eyes! It is important that you feel that way though so I am behind you one hundred percent! We need to talk every week so we can both see how we are doing with our contests!
Love Ash
Thank you for sharing. I really needed to hear this today. I miss being able to talk to you regularly. You always say the things I need to hear.
Hooray for you! Here is an inappropriately long quote for the comments section. Just reminded me of you. I'm sure you've heard it.
"Our Deepest Fear
is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson
we want pictures of the new you!!!
Don't worry about the running thing. When I started running I could not even do 1/4th of a mile without dying and SCott was cruising far far far away. Now he still runs faster than me but I run longer so don't give up! I believe in you!!!
I so hear you on this. And the running thing? It's at least 90% mental. Talking yourself through a run can be really tough sometimes, but I love it because it helps me get those "emotional breakthroughs" that I need. It's the only time (except when the kids are asleep) that I get to experience silence and time alone with my thoughts. Good luck to you!
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